A Swift Doula Blog, Chicago

Parent's dreaded Question: What's For Dinner

10/31/2014

Mom, what's for dinner? Ug...again? You have to eat again?

Are you guilty of not thinking about dinner plans until shoes get kicked off and ties are loosened?

I'm a mom with important stuff to do (as are you), and sadly, sometimes thinking about feeding my family gets pushed down to the bottom of my to-do list. I can make some incredible things, I just need 30-45 minutes and Viola!

BUT, my mom just shared the best trick. THE. BEST. TRICK. One, she admitted, was used on many occasion when my dad was about to walk in the door.

To fend off the dinner questions, the whining, and the glares that hunger produce. Cut up an onion and saute it in some butter. That's it.

The smell going through the house will buy you about 30 minutes to figure out with the f*** you're going to put in your family's face.

You go from being the unthoughtful parent to the talented, concerned matriarch.

Some of my mom's suggestions for what to do with that onion..

Taco meat
Hamburger gravy over noodles or a baked potato (zap that sucker in the microwave)
Sloppy Joes
Onion soup

All of these also happen to be comfort foods. Win-win.

Good luck out there. Some days are perfect and some days I wish the family could survive on sauteed onions alone.

Authored by A Swift Doula

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Baby Don't worry, you've Got A Chicago Mom

10/31/2014

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Mothers that live in Chicago are amazing. Amazing! They love on their babies, they stroll with their babies, and they eat really good food with their babies. And they never leave the house without their phone so they can make it all happen.

I've been around Chicago for 9 months. You know what I see?

Chicago mom's use technology! I was blown away by grocery delivery. I went to a client's house and she said, "What do you think about Instacart?" I had to admit I wasn't familiar. Now I am. If you are a busy mom, with a baby or toddler, and you are stuck in your chair breastfeeding, maybe think about taking that stressful trip to the store off your To-Do list.

Sleep machine apps, because babies love some white noise! Noisebox is amazing.
Scheduling, sorting, and organizing, because smart phones are already in our hands and the apps are already loaded...moms suggest adding Cozi, Target Cartwheel, Mint, and Babybix

Chicago parks are a mom's best friend! Chicago wants it's residents to use their neighborhoods and they make it enticing to do so! Plug these spots into Google Maps and see what the fuss is about.

Hyde Park - Bixler Playlot Not too big, but full of great fun. You can see across the playground to the toddlers in the sand box or water feature, and the 3's-6's are up and down the slides. If you want to meet a Hyde Park Mom, this is the playground to visit.

On Lincoln Ave - Oz Park is going to blow your mind. The play structure alone is reason to come to this area. Not only is it huge, but it is fun, and there are moms from all over the city. Play fields, close restaurants and beer joints, like the amazing Atlas Brewing Company. Because let me be real, I like a good IPA.
Urban Nature - Jackson Park houses so many activities it's impossible to list them all here. But if you want to get into some incredible green space and not leave the city limits, there are trails, the Osaka Gardens on the Wooded Island, and Bobolink Meadows.

Chicago mom's are giving their kids great experiences, and ruling the world! Technology is making it possible for moms to be there with their kids, and run businesses. Being able to answer email, update her calendar, schedule meetings, text friends and family, take photos, and balance her checkbook is possible because of tablets and smart phones. Moms have always had to do it all, but now it feels like it's a little bit easier.

Not easy, but easier. So don't worry baby, your mom's got it covered.

Authored by A Swift Doula

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don't worry, I'm a Professional

10/22/2014

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I wrote last week that I was away from my family. What was I doing? Trying to serve you, my client, in the best possible way.

I am continuing my education and study through Pro Doula!

Feel free to visit my Pro Doula Page and learn even more about me and how I can help you.

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Pressure, before Labor Ever Begins

10/19/2014

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Pressure. Not the push-the-baby-out kind.

I was lucky in my pregnancy. I didn’t have unusual sickness, I was able to stay mobile, and I was able to keep working until my due date. But as soon as my due date hit, I had to stay home.

It wasn’t anything about my pregnancy that made for the change. It was the pressure. The pressure from my co-workers and customers made me want to curl up and cry. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, they say, and it was starting to feel like my own personal hell.

The day after my due date I walked in to, “You’re STILL pregnant!”

It was the first time in my pregnancy that my body felt broken, that I had done something wrong. Was I a bad mother for not delivering my baby when I was “supposed” to?

I had read the books and taken the classes so I knew that the average first time mom doesn’t deliver until she is 41+ weeks.

I knew that, but I felt different.

Up until my due date, I was in the throws of fall. Friends were going to corn mazes people were trying to find last minute Halloween costumes. Because I was due on October 30th I made zero plans for the holiday, thinking hopefully, I’d be holding my baby.

So now, every fall, as parents are looking for festivals and pumpkin patches, whenever I see I pregnant woman, it comes back. Trying to relax is very hard when it feels like your entire community is waiting for you to have a baby.

I know I’m not the only one who has felt this pressure. As I doula for more and more women, it seems it is almost unavoidable. So if you have a pregnant woman in your life, perhaps to REALLY help her, be a safe place for her to rest.

Keep the Pressure Off

Offer pillows to help get her situated comfortably. Offer some water. It really is the small things sometimes.
Suggest a phone free afternoon, and go see a movie. So much pressure can come from social media now that suggesting a no-phone friend date can be incredibly restorative.
Try not to focus on the uncomfortable parts of day-to-day life, but instead ask her what she is looking forward to. Who will the baby look like? How did they pick the name? Any baby clothes she wants to show you?
Tell her she is beautiful. She may be feeling anything but attractive, but she needs to hear it.
And if she wants it, help her find a last minute costume to get her out of the house!

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Kids and Screens

10/16/2014

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I had the guilt. The gut-suck of judgement about how, when, and why I would/could/should let my young daughter use devices with screens. Technology. There are entire parenting books devoted to how to parent with or without technology...I didn't read them. I already knew my parenting philosophy and I was failing at it.

I was embarrassed my daughter knew how to unlock my phone. I was embarrassed my daughter asked to play with my e-reader. "Mom, Harper watch show?" I was THAT parent.

But you know what? I'm not a perfect parent, and neither are you. It feels good to admit it.

I kick ass pretty often, but I am also human and need a break. I can have a dance party, play make believe, color pictures, have a tea party, use dinosaur stickers, and read books for days, but there is joy is sitting and watching something that is beautiful and joyful, and I admit, I let my her have...gasp...screen time.

While I was busy damning the existence of screens and children's programming, I rarely took time to see its value.

And then I went on a trip for work. Right now I am in New York state, and my daughter is home in Chicago. I am stretching and growing my business and there are going to be some exciting things that come from this time (watch out). This trip as been the only time I have Skyped with my daughter where we were on opposite sides of the screen, and we weren't trying to talk with family we hardly see. (Hey, Auntie C!)

And it was wonderful. She knows how to do this. She knows that for me to see her, she needs to put the screen just right. She knows that if she wants to show me something, she has to make sure it fits in the little window, and she knows because of this, that I am still around and I am coming home.

Technology is not evil. Technology is cool! There are other things that are cool too - like helping me make dinner, going for a scooter adventure, and playing, one of Harp's favorite games, "Rawr, Eek!" But I have to admit that I feel less gut-suck tonight. I feel less guilt and a HUGE appreciation of technology, wifi signals, and Skype.

I'm giving myself, and you, permission to lighten up about this. Our kids are great kids. They are going to be ok.

Authored by A Swift Doula

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Birth is like Driving a Bus

10/10/2014

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Lots of tours to buy in Juneau.

Finding a way to describe what I do sometimes leaves me feeling unfulfilled. I provide physical, emotional, and educational support to women and their partners in labor… Yeah…but what does THAT mean.

Talk to a woman who hired a doula for her birth, and she most likely will tell you it was essential that her doula was present. Talk to that mom before hand and she won’t sound as enthusiastic. But how can she know what amazing adventure she is about to go through and how she will get through it, and how it will change her?

That’s what I do. I am able to take women down a winding path, take them by the hand in a way, and guide them through labor. Like a shady forest, with hills and knotty roots, and bends, I help that woman find her way and accompany her journey. Encourage her to keep going. Show her better ways to sit, or lean.

The exchange is mutual. For as I help her through moments, she gains her voice, telling me to push harder or softer, telling me she needs to move. She shows me her way through this journey, and I store that to use with the next mom, the next birth.

There are hundreds of books about birth and there are hundreds of opinions about how to best have a baby. I reassure a mom that her path is her own. The goal is the same, the baby comes out, but the way that happens is all her own. Labor can be fast. Labor can be slow. There is no wrong way.

Mendenhall river and glacier (in the back) A common destination for Juneau tourists.

I used to drive tour buses. Cruise ship passengers would load on to my motorcoach while in port at Juneau, and I would have them from 3-7 hours. Many people have similar questions about what we were seeing and the history of one of the most beautiful places on earth, but every tour was different. Every tour was unique. It was the same landscape, the same destinations, but in three summers of driving bus I never had the same tour.

I got to help thousands of people fall in love with Juneau, and now I’m a tour guide of a different sort – where the destination is motherhood and love, and the ride can be bumpy or smooth. But as a doula I will be there regardless. I will read the road signs of your labor and direct you, help you see where you can go, and help you avoid the obstacles.

I don’t have a 53-foot motor coach and a microphone, but I have reassuring hands and have brought the road maps. So yes, I provide emotional, physical, and education support, but like a driver is really only pushing pedals and moving a wheel, there is so much more to being the guide on this adventure with you.

Authored by A Swift Doula

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Favorite Picture Books

10/8/2014

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Yesterday marked the 50th anniversary of one of my favorite books, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. It is such a wonderful classic and beloved by so many! I don't know what books will be hitting that publishing milestone in 50 years, but here are some that have come out recently that I love! Perhaps they will make your little one happy too!