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Scapegoat Doula

8/14/2015

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It is not often, but there are times when I am the Scapegoat Doula.  

It is not a comfortable spot to be, but it is recognized by birth workers that sometimes families need a release of tension and anger.  Sometime it comes out as blame.  And sometimes that blame is laid upon the doula.  

Birth is unpredictable.  A "perfect" pregnancy can turn into a high risk delivery extremely fast.  A well-progressing labor can turn into an emergency cesarean delivery.  Families are left with little opportunity to choose any option other than to follow their care provider's lead.

People know that they are not medical experts and they should take their care providers advice.  But doing so doesn't mean feelings of disappointment, confusion, and helplessness are easy to manage or understand.  

Families may be left asking: 

Why did this happen? 
Why couldn't I stop it?
What went wrong? 

And under it all, "WHY DIDN'T I GET TO CHOOSE?!"  

The loss of participation is extremely unnerving.  The handing over of one's body to be surgically cared for is not the image of child birth that makes many women get warm fuzzy feelings.   The sudden care by professionals is one of the many reasons women are happy to have birth in hospitals, but the hope is that those services will never be used.  

In instances an immediate medical response is necessary, families search for answers.  They look for reasons why.  They want a cause for the effect.  

And sadly, it is not such an easy thing to find for some.   

With as much as we know about birth and bodies, there is still no way to know what path a woman's labor will take.  

"I knew that it was time for the babies to come.  I went in for the cesarean, but then, they couldn't get the spinal placed right. I heard them talking normally, sometimes directly to me, but then they got quite and were whispering to each other.  I couldn't see anything.  Then the baby was born but they said he had to go straight to the NICU.  Then I was horrible nauseous, and I said I didn't feel right.  I wake up and was in a different room, and it seemed like four people had their hands inside my body.  Then I was told I might need an emergency hysterectomy.  They got it under control, but I needed blood transfusions and no one could tell me what was going on."

Hiring a labor doula does not guarantee an outcome.  Having a doula scheduled for postpartum care does not guarantee any result.  BUT, hiring a doula for your labor or recovery means you won't be alone.  And by sheer proximity, sometimes the doula is the emotional dump for the mother, partner, or the whole family.  

And that is ok.  

I can be that person for you.  

You can unload anything on to me.  

I am your doula.  

If your mother needs to send me angry text messages; I can read them, call her back, and talk her through what is going on.  

If your partner is freaking out and wants someone to blame; I can be blamed, I can be yelled at, I can take it.  

If you are angry and are confronted with feelings you don't know what to do with, you can yell and scream, and cry, and be angry with me if you need to.  

I can take it.  I am your doula.  

Doulas are present and helpful for birth and postpartum, and sometimes those events aren't completely happy and joyous.  It isn't talked about.  But it is real.  

Doulas are there for you thorough any situation.  Your goals become our goals for labor and recovery, and when goals aren't met, we know that those feeling are in direct disagreement with your vision of success.  

But even when your original version of a successful situation is shattered, your doula will be there to help you pick up the pieces, and be with you, still without judgement, because when there is no known reason why unfortunate events happen, you should hear that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

It is not your fault.  

You are not broken. 

It is not your fault.  

So know that a doula is not just for unmedicated birth.  Know that a doula is not just for position changes and encouragement through labor.  Know that a doula is there to help with the hard feelings just as much as the joyful feelings.  

I can help carry the load you bear.  I hope you won't need to use this part of my care, but please know that you can.  

Authored by A Swift Doula
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Green Diaper Babies Visits A Swift Doula!

7/31/2015

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I am so excited to share a conversation with Shannon Griffith, owner of Green Diaper Babies, Chicago's premier cloth diaper delivery service. 

I used disposable diapers with my daughter when she was a newborn, but was happy to convert to cloth diapers when she was about a month old.  Using cloth diaper with my daughter I fell in love with their ease, baby-friendly fabrics, and how well she was able to convert from diaper to using the toilet. What was most surprising for me getting started is that they can be just as simple as disposables. 

There is something out there called an All-In-One which was the selling point to get my husband on board.  Green Diaper Babies knew this kind of diaper would make a tremendous difference for families, and she is happy to offer this option as well as traditional pre-fold diapers. 

But don't get bogged down with this lingo - Green Diaper Babies offers a class for parents looking into diaper use.

Green Diaper Babies takes all the good qualities of using cloth diapers for your family and none of the bad, meaning, cleaning the soiled nappies!

Shannon has a love for families and the environment, and this venture is an extension of those passions.  Feel free to visit Green Diaper Babies for more information or - get this - call 773 - DIAPERS.  Love that.


Interview with Shannon Griffith
What led to the creation of Green Diaper Babies?  

An adventure! :)  I am originally from Colorado but living in Oklahoma at the time the seeds were planted in December of 2012.   I moved to Chicago in the summer of 2013 to get things started.  It will be 2 years in August and I'm so happy I took the leap to try Chicago, try cloth, and I can definitely say I found a passion!  

What have you learned your customers are concerned about?  

Our customers are concerned about usually a few reasons.  First, the environment; even making a small change, one cloth diaper a day would say 365 diapers from landfills! The numbers add up.  Another reason would be baby health: rash is slim or non existent, as well as skin sensitivities are eliminated because of the natural fiber.  Plus a baby in cloth diapers on average potty trains 6 months sooner!

Can you speak to the level of education that may be involved to encourage people who may not know this diaper option exists?   

Parents overall are becoming better at looking at options, trying to be open minded and find what parenting styles and techniques they want for their family.  Cloth is one of those choices.  Cloth is not as mainstream yet as it ought, but certainly has progressed over the past generation and we can only hope this continues.  Most families who are looking into better, holistic, healthier options for their family often turn to cloth.
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What is your favorite part of the cloth diaper business?

Oh my, my favorite part?  I have given a couple of years of my full attention and passion to the the cloth diaper business and really love it.  I have experienced every part of this company and I wouldn't trade it for anything!  My favorite part is that at the end of the day, the long week, and the load of laundry, I know that I've had a positive impact on my friends, city, and earth.  I'm making a difference in a small way and I sleep well at night knowing that one less diaper is in the landfill and one more baby slept well in cloth.  I wouldn't be in the business if it wasn't for the wonderful families I work with daily! 

The cloth diaper market has many different options and brands.  How did you come to your decision on which brands you would use? 

I knew we would carry the traditional cotton pre-fold as it is the most basic, traditional, yet approachable and affordable.  Our All-In-One diaper decision was a bit harder because we knew we would be standing out.  The All-In-One diapers are often not offered in services across the nation and I chose to give them a shot.  I came into the industry with a fresh eye and saw the modernization of cloth.  I knew my company needed to be on that page to offer the best for our customers.

How do you offer ongoing support to families who use your service? 

One of the best things I think we offer in our service is our free in-home consultation for each of our clients.  Though this technically happens before they begin the service, it sets every new client up for success!  We take time to meet with each family individually to practice putting diapers on, review products and policy, and to have a face to a name. This helps us in our relationships going forward because we know siblings, pets, babies, and parents names and environments.  Now that the weather is nice we also coordinate Meetups for our customers and other cloth diapering families in and around Chicago.  We meet in parks and cafes to talk and share stories and mingle.  It's a real blast!  

What have some of the responses been from customers? 

I'm thankful to say that most customer responses have been positive.  Over the course of the couple years I've had the opportunity to watch little ones grow and I am thrilled to have been a part of their lives!  The families are terrific and allow us to be succeeding.  Often we hear good reviews on our service, which for me is most important, so I am thankful for that!! 

What parts of Chicago do you service?  

We service every zip code of the city of Chicago; we go North through North Shore to Highland Park, West to Elgin an Aurora, South to Tinley Park, and of course everything in between! 

What is the best way for people to learn more about cloth diapering through a diaper service? 

We offer free Cloth Diaper 101 course usually twice a month.  We have classes in the suburbs, West Loop, Lincoln Park, Ravenswood, and Evanston. We try to meet in spaces that are relevant for our customers such as prenatal gyms, chiropractor and acupuncturists who workwith pre- & postnatal, and birthing centers and studios. Our workshops discuss options of washing at home or cloth diapering with a service.  And as mentioned before, we also offer the free in-home consultation for our customers, which is a great one-on-one.  And if schedules don't allow or class doesn't work out, call us: 773-DIAPERS.  We are happy to talk about cloth diaper with you!



Thank you so much to Shannon and her team that makes this incredible service possible!  If you are looking for more information about Green Diaper Babies, visit their website at www.greendiaperbabies.com
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Habitual Apology

6/8/2015

6 Comments

 
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Ever get smacked in the face with a lesson?  One of those awakenings that is both blunt and truthful.  One which, after you notice it, you can't help but be smacked over and over with the day-to-day situations where you never noticed before?

For me it's apologizing.  Or was.

I was at a party last fall where I was called out by a friend (in a nice way) who made me realize I am/was a habitual apologizer.  I would say "I'm sorry" in situations that were just plain unnecessary.

We have a language where hundreds and hundreds of other words could be used, and I was editing down to an apology.  I know I'm not the only one here that can identify with this.

Mostly I know because I work with people who do it all the time.  New moms.  (I would say parents, but I don't really have moments with male parents where this comes up.)

And moms are saying it about things that require no apology.  At all.  Like feeling pain while in labor.  Or needing to feed their baby...again. 

Things like:
  • Having contractions Oh, wait just a minute, I'm sorry, I can't answer your question I'm having a contraction....
  • Being thirsty in labor I'm so sorry, can you get me my drink?
  • Changing positions No, no, no...I need to move, I'm sorry this position just doesn't feel good!
  • HAVING A BABY I'm sorry I made such a mess!

And it isn't reserved for the delivery room.  When moms get home, the I'm sorrys just keep coming:

  • Being sore I'm sorry I'm moving so slow.
  • A messy house (even if it isn't messy) I just haven't had time to pick up.  I'm sorry you have to see it like this.
  • A crying baby  I'm sorry!  I'm sorry! 
  • Being in Bed  I'm so sorry you have to be in here and see me like this. 

All of the things mentioned above are real situations that have happened, and I would bet all are common for many other doulas as well.  Some women prefer to be extremely private, so for them it IS completely odd and horrible that a visitor would be in her home and see this part of life. 

But guess what.  I'm a doula. 

It's not a statement I make often, but in reality I've seen a lot of vaginas and touched a lot of breasts.  The world of birth is not a scary or grotesque world for me, and the state of your living room, your baby's temperament, or your manner of dress are not judged.

You don't get points deducted for having unopened mail or a sink full of dishes.  In fact, how about I do those dishes real quick for you...No...it's fine...just relax!  Tell me how you're feeling.  How was last night? 

One of the things I talk about with my clients is how to prepare with realistic expectations of the postpartum period.  Not just with their own bodies, but with guests and family too. 

If it is important to you to have a clean home and a spread ready to go whenever guests may arrive, let's talk about ways I can help you prepare for that so you personally won't have to take over the brunt of that work AND the work of being a new mom. 

Sorry Not Sorry

Hashtags can be cheeky, silly, expressive, annoying, or whatever....

But I have fully embraced the #sorrynotsorry hashtag.   It was a step in my recovery, if you want to call it that.  

Just because I was made aware of my habit of apologizing didn't make it easy to unlearn it.  It took practice.  Quite a lot actually.  Months of it. 

But it has been a wonderful change.  Freeing. And I can see this as a positive change both for me and my daughter.  I want her to see me using an apology at times where it holds meaning and value.  I don't want to cheapen the phrase through overuse and inappropriate timing. 

I won't pretend that I understand your personal relationship with the phrase, "I'm sorry."  But I know in birth and recovery for the 6 weeks after (or more), there is a new normal where the feelings and tasks that used to be easy are no longer easy. 

There are no apologies necessary for that change.  It is not your fault.  It just is.

I'd love to hear from you reader!  Do you have a #sorrynotsorry moment you want to share? 
What was early recovery and postpartum like for you in your home? 
Did you feel guilt and if so, what for?


Authored by A Swift Doula









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Interview with My 3.5 Year Old

5/5/2015

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Kids are so cool.   

I took the opportunity to ask my daughter some questions at bath time a little while ago, attempting to get inside her super active brain.  It was fun.  I encourage you to ask your own kids some direct questions. 

How often do kids get asked questions about what they like and what they do?  I would hate for the only memories of me asking H questions are the kind that suck.  Like, Where were you?  Who were you with?  Why didn't you call me?

So, it may be silly, but I am proactively laying some ground work.  Let's talk about it!  Whatever IT is!

Mom:  Hey Harp, can I ask you some questions about things you like? 
H:  I love jumping!

Mom: Awesome!  What do you like about jumping?
H: I like jumping really high high in the air and then more jumping!

Mom:  Can you tell me your favorite food?
H:  I love Ice Cream!  With sprinkles!  And I like to make birthday cakes!  I love birthday cakes and donuts! 

Mom:  What is your favorite thing to do outside?
H:  I love watering the flowers.  See?  I'm watering the flowers!  (proceeds to water her bathtub bubbles.)
Mom: Are there other things you like to do outside?
H: (casually) I like to go to the park and slide and play with the sprayer, and the park by the library?  I like the park and the library. 

Mom: What is your favorite toy?
H: Ummm....(whispers) playing with my race car toys and I make them go (shouting) fast, fast, fast!

Mom:  What is your favorite color?
H: Pink!
Mom:  What was your favorite color before that?
H: Purple
Mom: What was your favorite color before that?
H: Blue! 

H: Pink makes me happy, purple makes me angry, and blue makes me sad. 
Mom: What do you feel sad about?

H: I feel sad missing my daddy, but then I go to school, and I miss him at school. 

Mom: What's your favorite thing about daddy?
H: When we snuggle! 

Mom: Last question, what is your favorite book?
H: The put-the-baby-to-bed book.  It shows all the babies going to bed!  And they have teddy bears!

Mom:  Thanks Harp!  I love you.
H:  I love you too mommy.  Let's water the flowers some more! 

Authored by A Swift Doula with special guest, H. Swift

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Benefits of A Placenta University Graduate

4/29/2015

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Working in Chicago helping women through labor, birth, and their postpartum transition has allowed me a great view of one other industry close to doulas: Placenta Encapsulation.  Until now, I have not offered this service myself, and have instead tried to find placenta specialists in Chicago that were both safe, and reliable in their methods of processing and business. 

Just like doulas do not need a license or  training to practice as a profession, placenta specialists are not required to have a license or training either.

There HAVE been sporadic trainings available, and many placenta specialists have been taught by someone they view as reliable. 

However, it has not been until this week that an organization has taken a stand on how, where, and in what manner a placenta should be handled, transported, and processed for human consumption. 

This week, Placenta Prep* has had its inaugural training, and the placenta industry now has a new standard of excellence.  I am proud and honored to say that I was invited to attend this training and am moving forward to help raise the standard and safety of placenta consumption.  

Not all women will choose to use this aid for their postpartum recovery, however, those that do should be offered a method and option to do so in such a way that reduces possible risks. 

As a graduate of Placenta Prep* I agree to the following standards of practice for my business:


I will never transport a placenta for another person
This has nothing to do with convenience, and everything to do with doubt, uncertainty, and trust. 

I want there to be absolutely zero doubt in a client's mind that the placenta I process is the placenta that came out of her body.  To ensure that everyone involved agrees that the placenta is indeed the property of my client, I will never transport her placenta, even if it is directly from the hospital to her home. 

I am not licensed to transport a human organ, and to protect my business and your trust, I will supply you with the necessary materials and information to safely transport your placenta to your home after the birth.


I will service a placenta in the home of the person who will consume it
We live in a world full of bacteria.  Good bacteria and bad bacteria are everywhere.  When a woman gives birth, she and (especially) her baby are in a delicate healing period where her immune system may be compromised or fragile. 

To reduce any negative side effects of bad bacteria consumption, I will only process a woman's placenta in an environment her body is used to. 

By processing a placenta in the client's space, I am able to ensure that the placenta is hers, that the space is free of debris from other processed placentas, and is free from any potentially harmful bacteria that may reside in my home.  As safe as my bacteria is to me, it may be harmful to the delicate system of a newly delivered mother and her infant. 

The only way to ensure that there is as few harmful bacteria present, the client's home is the safest location for this service to take place. 


I will stay current on my Blood Borne Pathogens certification
This industry does not require a license, and does not require Blood Borne Pathogens Certification. 

However, to reduce the risk to clients and to myself, I will follow guidelines outlined in this training to ensure every placenta, regardless of origin, will be treated with the respect and care that it deserves.  To do this, I will always have a current Blood Borne Pathogens certificate while processing placentas.   


Benefits of a Postpartum Placenta Specialist
As a Postpartum Placenta Specialist,
a great concern is that I am able to be present and available to my clients while they are transitioning from pregnancy to postpartum. 

By offering my services in this way, and by abiding by these guidelines, I also make myself available to my clients to offer support IN PERSON!  I am trained and certified as a Postpartum Doula, and if you engage in my placenta services, you are able to reap the full benefit of my knowledge, care, and attention during my time in your home. 

You can benefit from having your placenta processed in the safest possible way, with as many risks reduced along the way, AND benefit from time with a professional postpartum doula. 

I look forward to elevating the profession of placenta specialists in the Chicago area! 

Authored by: A Swift Doula
*Edited to update name




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Flipping Eggs: Fear and Doubt

4/24/2015

2 Comments

 
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The other I got an itch to try doing that seemingly simple act of tossing food in a pan without a spatula. 
(This dude makes it look like a piece of cake. )

I try it.  I make a mess.  I psych myself out.  I get nervous.  My heart starts racing,  I am both stressed and a little edgy. 

But since that first attempt, I've been committed.  I am eating more eggs so I can practice. 

I have now successfully flipped an egg.  Twice. 

I've realized that there is a moment every time I flip where I have to turn off my doubt and fear, and go all in.  I have to put in the extra umph, and then trust that I've given it enough. 

I have to believe I am going to actually flip that silly egg.  The times I question my ability, (the hold of the pan in my hand, the amount of butter in the bottom, or if the egg is ready to flip,) inevitably, I mess it up. 

Fear and doubt.  They are there.  In many parts of our life, and especially in birth and parenthood.  But there too we have to walk up to that big scary thing (eggs, or labor) nod hello, then just keep going.  Do it. 

Our bodies are amazing, in that if a fear is real (a bear chasing you) or perceived (being startled as a joke), we respond the same way with a flood of adrenaline.  Our bodies is prepped to save our life, but is that necessary for flipping an egg?!  Seems a little over dramatic.  C'mon!  So...

Feel the fear.  Then do it anyway. 

Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Breakfast or something so much, much bigger. 

When have you felt that buzz of fear?  How did you react?  What helped you through it?

Authored by A Swift Doula
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#doulaRevolution

3/29/2015

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meme made by Denise Forman for #worlddoulaweek
World Doula Week is over.  It was incredible to see the word #doula trending on Facebook, in part because of a blog challenge hosted by September Phillips of Not Just Nine Birth Services.  And even more incredible to see how many women were engaged in their communities to get the word out.  The word doula.  Doula.  #Doula. 

There is another tag that has been going around.  It's #doularevolution.  And it's been building.  Women from across the globe have been making changes so that they can pursue doula work. 

Doula work as their profession, not as a hobby.  Women are learning what it means to be business women.  They are learning what it means to follow a dream and build something with passion.  And they are learning to "turn their passion into a paycheck." 

I got to see this revolution begin in a Facebook group called The Business of Being a Doula.  There Randy Patterson braved the water of "how it's always been done" and pushed women to think beyond what they were told, to see how they could be better, and to choose what was best for themselves. 

It is a bold move for a woman to put herself first.  But it shouldn't be.  (Lessons in life, motherhood, and business come crashing together in this business group.)

From Randy and her partner Debbie came ProDoula.  From ProDoula came the tools women needed to make the changes.

And as Heidi Shulista of Kansas City Doulas states when she talks about the #doularevolution, "A revolution happens because lots of like-minded people all have the same thoughts, at the same time, and they all move simultaneously in the same direction to make the change they believe is necessary to happen." 

ProDoula isn't a brainwashing.  ProDoula isn't telling women about what they are doing wrong.  What makes them unique is they actually practice the values they teach.  They support women - pregnant women, laboring women, business women.  They give tools so women can make choices that are best for them - tools for labor, tools for business, and really, tools for life. 

And the #doularevolution is picking up steam because of one simple thing: it makes sense.  It makes sense that woman should be paid for their work.  It makes sense that businesses can't survive on offering services for free.  It makes sense that for our profession to be taken seriously, new doulas need to start smart business practices from their first birth on. 

It doesn't make sense that women and families should suffer financially so other women and their families can be supported through birth. 

Our culture has changed but our hearts are still here.  The #doularevolution isn't just about a paycheck.  The #doularevolution is, in part, about taking the choke collars that the "sisterhood of free birth" offer women as a tool to gain experience, and instead offer guidance, tried and true models, and wisdom.  Actual tools for longevity and sustainable careers.  Actual help from actual mentors. 

It has been an incredible week.  It has been an incredible year.  the #doularevolution is just picking up steam. 

Authored by A Swift Doula
Photo credit to
Denise Foreman, The Issaquah Doula

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Doulas and doctors: Very different Roles

3/28/2015

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There are many people you may have with you in your pregnancy and birth journeys. A few possibilities are:
  •  OB-GYN or Midwife
  • Fertility specialist
  • Lactation Counselor, or IBCLC
  • Chiropractor
  • Acupuncturist
  • Pre-natal Yoga instructor
  • Spiritual Guide
  • Your partner
  • Your family and friends
  • And if you decide, also your Doula
As a doula I believe that I am one member of your "birth ensemble."


Why build a Birth Ensemble?

Ensemble Definition
:
noun, plural ensembles
1.
all the parts of a thing taken together, so that each part is considered only in relation to the whole.

I used to think of my self as a team member.  But team also brings up images of competition, of "winning," of someone "sitting on the bench" or a "most valuable player." 

During pregnancy and birth, it is absolutely inappropriate to have a "winning" and "losing" side.  Unfortunately, that is not what some women take away from their birth.

As doulas, part of our role is to help the entire birth space be calm.  That includes the medical staff, your partner, and anyone else that enters your space. 
All the people that will come in contact with you need to work together.  A partner can't do what a midwife does.  A midwife can't do what your family does.  A doula can't do what an OB does, and vice versa.  Every member has a role to play, each unique to their strengths. 

When a laboring woman has the intimate connection from her partner, the medical training and expertise of her care provider, and the emotional and attuned care from her doula, they all work to bring about a unique setting that is appropriate from that woman. 

Having a birth "ensemble" gives a woman the reassurance, freedom, and knowledge to make decisions that will be best for her, and the ability to take ownership of her birth.

Doulas are NOT medically trained professionals


Because doulas are not medically trained professionals, doulas do not provide clinical or medical care.  This means doulas do not provide examinations.  They do not provide assessments.  They do not provide recorded monitoring. 
  • No vaginal exams
  • No blood pressure checks
  • No diagnosis
  • No suggestions for treatment
Doulas are also not a guarantee of an outcome.  We are not able to predict how your baby will be born, or give you any certainty that your birth will end the way you first thought. 


When doulas and doctors work together:
The result is a better birth

An unfortunate reality with today's medical system is that hospitals staff have more and more responsibilities.  Doctors are balancing office hours with laboring clients.  Nurses are trying to chart accurately and give attention to women, some who need more from them than they can sometimes provide. 

The reality is that an efficient system of patient care management may not allow for the amount of attention a woman feels she needs in labor.

A doctor's main concern is healthy mom, healthy baby.  A doula's main concern is healthy mind, healthy bond.  Neither of these is more important than the other.  

This is how doulas can help birth at hospitals:
  • By encouraging increased conversation and understanding, the mother will understand or ask for clarification ensuring that informed consent has been reached.
  • Important factors influencing patient satisfaction during labor are the quality of the caregiver-patient relationship, involvement in decision-making, and amount of support from caregivers.  Having a doula present can greatly increase the chance that a mother will remember her birth as a positive experience. 
  • The recent Cochrane Collaboration review of over 15,000 mothers in 22 studies confirmed that births with trained doulas present are less likely to have certain interventions. Thus, certain complications that may occur as a result of their use do not happen.  (*This does not mean that having a doula present will result in a certain outcomes.) 
  • Influences of family structure, language, culture, exhaustion and personality can mean various challenging social situations. When the doula is aware of the mother’s desires she can intercept or smooth over interpersonal problems between hospital staff and the patient. Although the mother employs the doula, the doula increases communication, understanding and respect between the physician and the family. 

Worth repeating:

When a laboring woman has the intimate connection from her partner, the medical training and expertise of her care provider, and the emotional and attuned care from her doula, they work together to bring about a unique setting that is appropriate from that woman. 

Having a birth "ensemble" gives the mother the reassurance, freedom, and knowledge to make decisions that will be best for her, and the ability to take ownership of her birth. 

Healthy mom, healthy baby, healthy mind, healthy bond.  When doulas and doctors work together, families benefit.

Authored by A Swift Doula
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Other amazing writers are getting the word out about World Doula Week. Visit the World Doula Week Blog Challenge Blog Hop. 
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Mother's Day Essay Writing Contest

3/12/2015

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I am so excited to announce the 1st annual Mother's Day Essay Writing Contest! 

I know we have amazing mother's in our lives, and I want to know about them!  Take some time to write no more than 750 words about the mom, friend, wife, or neighbor that you think deserves a bit of recognition.  Or you can write in yourself about why you LOVE being a mother!  The selected winner will receive a $50 gift card to Yolk for brunch in Chicago, as well as be featured here on A Swift Doula's Blog! 

Submissions are due on or before April 30th.  Please submit essay via email to ASwiftDoula@gmail.com with the subject line of Mother's Day Essay Contest.  Winners will be announced on Mother's Day!

Submissions can be made by people of all ages, however paper submissions are not accepted at this time - if you know of a little person that would like to write in, let them!  Just please help them type it and send it.   

I appreciate your participation in this and thank you in advance for the great stories you are going to send.  If you have a photo you would like to attach with the essay, that is also a bonus, but not required.  If a photo is sent, It will be used with the winning essay's blog post. 

Best to you all and happy early Mother's Day!

Authored by A Swift Doula
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Make It Happen - International Women's Day 2015

3/8/2015

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Today is International Women's Day.  The theme this year is Make It Happen. 

Make it Happen:
  • For greater awareness of women's equality
  • For more women in senior leadership roles
  • For equal recognition of women in the arts
  • For growth of women owned businesses
  • For increased financial independence of women
  • For more women in science, engineering, and technology
  • For fairer recognition in women in sport

When I found out I was pregnant with a daughter, simultaneously I thought publicly "Awesome!" and privately with Dan "Oh shit." 

Because, having the knowledge that I was going to be responsible for caring and PROTECTING my girl child seemed liked the biggest undertaking ever.  And it is.  Being the protector of another human is serious work. 

I worry about scraped knees and broken hearts.  But really those aren't my big fears - because those teach and can be learned from.  What keeps me up is the senseless violence and unmistakable cruelty that exists.  

As I dove deeper and deeper down this rabbit hole today, trying and trying to rescue myself from the imagined ways in which my child can be hurt and maimed - both visibly and invisibly - I found myself visiting the blog I started when I found out I was pregnant.  It's called Alaska Jane, Pint Sized. 

I reread the entire blog. 

My thoughts as a woman learning about pregnancy and motherhood right in front of me.  Not knowing that I would become a woman who would help other women walk those same steps. 

It was surreal. 

Watching the video of my daughter starting to understand language as she helped me load the dryer and then when she twirled.  And missing our friends terribly as I relived our great Halloween adventures dressing up as Frida, and her friend as Mork. 

I'm have learned and am re-learning that my actions will leave their mark.  Every step, however small, in the direction I wish to go is still progress.  My silly little blog tracking my pregnancy and life as a new mom is proof - I cherish those posts.  And I made that priceless record, one post at a time. 

And as a mom, I parent one day at a time. 

And as a business owner, I grow one client at a time. 

And as someone impacting the world, well...I will do that too, one bit at a time. 

International Woman's day is almost over. But this day is another in a long history of the event.  And since it's inception many incredible things have changed that benefit women, and therefore all of human kind. 

I have no idea how to make all the goals listed above come to reality other than how we, as women and supporters of women, have been doing it all along - one step at a time. 

I wasn't going to finish this post today.  I had written it off (ha!) as a small idea that didn't work out.  My husband and I tucked in to finish the latest season of House of Cards, (which has it's own interesting ties to the goals of the day, but no spoilers here...), then I scrolled through my blog roll, and just before turning this damned computer off I found this:


Let the bucket of memory down into the well,
bright it up.  Cool, cool minutes.  No one
stirring, no plans.  Just being there.

This is what the whole thing is about.

– William Stafford, from Just Thinking


And looking back on today, with my side steps and rabbit trails down through my memories, photos, and videos, this is what happened.  I dipped my bucket into my memory well.  The cool minutes washed over me.  Hours went by.  I was right there again, watching my daughter take some of her first steps. 

And I realized again the words of Brene Brown, that the courage comes from being there.  Doing the scary thing.  Showing up.  Being vulnerable.  And I don't know anything that has made me feel more vulnerable, more alive, or more woman, that being a mother. 

Nothing.

And because I am a mother, (step, step, step,) I am now a business owner.  And wouldn't you know it, that is one of the goals of this year's International Woman's Day. 

Each small step in the direction of your goal is not a misstep. 

Authored by A Swift Doula.




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