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Clueless in Labor

7/17/2015

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The hit 1995 teen movie Clueless is celebrating it's 20th anniversary, and I just can't help my two reactions:

1) 20 years!  As If! 

and

2) Cher might be a mom! (and in fact Alicia Silverstone is a mother)

There are some iconic terms that were born because of this movie.  In fact, it was bemused this morning on NPR, that an entire generation was liberated from the  baggy pants and flannel shirts of the early 90's grunge BECAUSE of this movie.  (Oh, don't worry...it's back) 

So let's revisit some of these, shall we?  With a labor and delivery twist?

As if:  No way!

Partner: I'm really tired.  I think I'm going to go home and come back when you are ready to push the baby out.
Mother: As if!

Audi: I'm leaving (likened to "I'm outty.")

Partner:  Where are you going?  I think it's too early to leave for the hospital!

Laboring Mother: (walking out the door to the car, breath, breath, breath)  I'm Audi.  You coming?

Buggin': Totally freakin' out.

Mother talking on phone to doula: Hi Ariel!  Contractions are picking up and we are on our way to the hospital.  Can you meet us there?  My husband is totally buggin' and there is a lot of pain in my back I'll need some help with.
Ariel:  No problem.  See you soon.  We'll get everyone comfortable.  Drive safe.

Keeping it real: Being realistic and honest

Mother:  Ariel, I know the doctor is keeping it real, but I think I need more time before we try something else.  What do you think?
Ariel:  Why don't you talk with your team an see if we can have an hour or two to try some position changes and revisit their suggestions if there is no change.  If they say no, then there is probably a medical reason they can explain.

Whatever: I don't care what you say

Nurse: Okay.  Sorry to bother you.  I know these contractions are really tough but I'm going to get this baby back on the monitor.  I'm just going to find a better spot. (start moving fetal monitor)
Mother: (finishing up a contraction, breathe, breathe, breathe ) Whatever.

Not quite to the delivery room yet? Don't worry.  Go have a boinkfest with your Baldwin, or get caught Jeepin' and you could be soon! 

Regardless if you have watched this movie or not, you won't have to feel clueless in labor!

Authored by Ariel Swift





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