My husband and I have been having some pretty non-committal conversations about having more kids. We expanded our family on accident, and, I guess you could say, we're both gun-shy to continue its growth.
Three years ago, I could say firmly, "Oh, I'm pretty sure we are just having one, but if we have more, we are going to wait until Harper is like 4. Maybe 5." Well, that wasn't received very well by those I talked with, but I threw all those judgey comments out with my refrigerator left overs. Because, c'mon. Really?! We are still telling other people how many kids to have?
Recently I got to spend sometime with two incredible Moms. Both have 5 children. Five lovely children. Both the pain and joy that come with a full family is extremely appealing to me. I am 1 of 4 kids myself.
And there is this great blog. Girls Gone Child, by Rebecca Woolf. If you spend anytime on her site you will see some of the most magical images of her four children. It's like fairies are real!!!
Sisters, brothers. Siblings. Going through life with a friend. A built in, lifelong friend. Or at least someone who will understand what it's like to have me as a crazy mother!
So, like, hello?! Universe? Can we meet for coffee or something and work this out?
Yeah. Didn't think so.
We, mere mortals, get to be in charge of this huge responsibility, just doing the best we know how.
We'll figure it out. Everyone does. At least those of us who are lucky enough to get to choose...
The image I keep coming back to is the point in life, when Dan and I are gone. When we pass away and Harper is at the point where, for the first time, she will experience life without parents. That's a heavy image for me.
This post isn't going to solve anything or decide anything. It isn't supposed to.
This is just me today, the day after Mother's Day, thinking about what it may mean to not have any more children.
Readers, how did you know you wanted to grow your family? When did you know your family was complete?
Authored by A Swift Doula