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Husbands and Doulas

2/25/2015

6 Comments

 
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Full disclosure, my husband was not excited about having a doula at the birth of our daughter.  Ultimately it came down to this:

me:  I want to hire her. 
him:  Fine. 

And I think many families are in the same situation.  But now in hindsight, I wanted to know what really made moving forward with having a stranger in our intimate space alright. 

I asked,  this is what he said:

Things I Liked About Hiring (Our Doula):

1) Ariel (my wife) wanted to hire a doula, she believed that it would make her more comfortable going into the experience than without one, and I am not against anything that will make my wife's life happier/easier--within reason.

2) It also made me more comfortable going into the birth experience. Harper is our first child and not having attended a birth previously, it was good to know that there was going to be someone there assisting Ariel, as well as assisting me assist Ariel.

3) Being an attorney and familiar with the concept of liability (medical in this case), I understand that hospital employees may have to say things that they might not necessarily totally believe because that is what their employer (mostly the employer's attorney) needs them to say in order to try and avoid any liability. I thought that it was worthwhile to have a doula present to a) translate from medical jargon into understandable language and b) to give her opinion as why the hospital employees were saying something or suggesting a particular course of action and give her thoughts on whether or not these suggestions were negotiable or mandatory.

4) Having a doula allowed me to feel comfortable making more frequent trips to the waiting room to keep the assembled family members updated as to the imminent arrival of their new granddaughter/niece.


What about you?  What does your partner think about doulas? 

Authored by A Swift Doula *with special guest Mr. A Swift Doula
6 Comments
Elizabeth Luke
2/25/2015 10:41:17 pm

I love it, very well done Mr Swift!

Reply
Ariel
2/27/2015 01:41:25 am

I agree!

Reply
Antonia E.
2/26/2015 01:27:44 am

Thanks for sharing this Ariel. I think that many fathers(to-be) share the same feelings before the birth of their child. My husband had the same concerns about having someone we didn't know very well attend our birth. If you ask him now about the birth of my daughter, I bet he'll mention our amazing doula in the first sentence.
We knew our doula from the local yoga studio and we had made plans to get together to get to know each other a little better before the birth, but I ended up going into labor ten days early. I think this heightened my husbands nervousness regarding our doula. In the end hiring our doula was the best decision we made and my husband will attest to that.

Reply
Antonia
2/27/2015 01:44:20 am

It sounds like you had a great doula!

One of the traits I hear over and over is that people felt some sort of connection with the doula that helped them. That ability to be really present, listen, and attune with our clients is so important!

I am happy your husband is a doula supporter!

Reply
Ruth Green link
2/27/2015 01:38:36 am

I love this post. Would you mind if I posted this on my blog, or website (which is currently being created), if I post your link along with it? Thanks for considering my request.

Reply
Ariel
2/27/2015 01:41:08 am

Ruth - I find what works best is if you have a small intro, then perhaps a quote or snippet from this post that you find a good fit for your audience, then link them back to my page.

Thanks for your support and encouragement!

Reply



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