You may not have noticed, but the holidays are coming. The pumpkin lattes are flowing. Costumes are on the shelves, and recipes for soups and baked treats are popping out of the woodwork.
You may be freaking out about how to make baby's first Christmas (or Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah) absolutely perfect. You may be stressed out, already, about starting new family traditions or keeping up with well established roles.
Lets open ourselves to an idea: becoming a parent gives us the opportunity to experience joy, belonging, and love, but there is no guarantee it will be done perfectly. We may try to keep the idea of perfection that comes with each new baby alive along as possible, but if you let go of your idea of what should happen, you open up to the possibility of what could happen. And that may be 100 times better than you imagined.
So a few things...
You may be freaking out about how to make baby's first Christmas (or Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah) absolutely perfect. You may be stressed out, already, about starting new family traditions or keeping up with well established roles.
Lets open ourselves to an idea: becoming a parent gives us the opportunity to experience joy, belonging, and love, but there is no guarantee it will be done perfectly. We may try to keep the idea of perfection that comes with each new baby alive along as possible, but if you let go of your idea of what should happen, you open up to the possibility of what could happen. And that may be 100 times better than you imagined.
So a few things...
All your baby wants is...YOU
Sure, being around family and sparkly decorations will be exciting for your little one, but all your baby really wants this holiday season is you. Don't worry about what to buy or what clothes to put her in, your wee one will be perfectly content to hang with you and watch all the commotion. If you have a traditional schedule of where to be, realize that your baby doesn't know the schedule. Your baby doesn't realize that your family has had this meal at Aunt Rose's house for the last 15 years and there is no place to change a diaper. Your baby still has to poop. (There might be a metaphor in there.)
You Don't Have to Do it all
It is very hard to be a part of the New Mommy Club, especially with the added stress of holidays. Not only is your life totally different now that you have a baby, but there is little conversation that shares the fact that YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL. Families are living farther apart, social expectations are shouting at you to do it all, be perfect, bounce back from pregnancy, feel fantastic, and SMILE! Meanwhile, you feel like the living embodiment of your junk drawer. So I say to you, Exhausted New Mom, you have never been through this, so you don't need to pretend that you have. Asking for help when you need it will keep you sane.
And to help, some tools...
1) It's okay to say no.
Your family is your family. It's perfectly fine to decline an invitation so you can have a less stressful holiday.
2) Simplify gift giving.
Think of setting limits on spending so you aren't stressed about finances instead of enjoying the time with your family.
3) Give freely the things you can.
Kind words, gratitude, a hug, or a smile will go a long way. If you are focused on the positives in this season, you will help yourself, and leave warm feelings in your wake.
4) Enjoy yourself.
Being able to create new memories filled with laughter and fun is a wonderful introduction for your new baby at the holidays. Find ways to laugh, even if it's at yourself.
I hope with all the coming holidays you are able to start the traditions of gratitude and joy with your new baby. And sleep, or a steady supply of pumpkin lattes.
Your family is your family. It's perfectly fine to decline an invitation so you can have a less stressful holiday.
2) Simplify gift giving.
Think of setting limits on spending so you aren't stressed about finances instead of enjoying the time with your family.
3) Give freely the things you can.
Kind words, gratitude, a hug, or a smile will go a long way. If you are focused on the positives in this season, you will help yourself, and leave warm feelings in your wake.
4) Enjoy yourself.
Being able to create new memories filled with laughter and fun is a wonderful introduction for your new baby at the holidays. Find ways to laugh, even if it's at yourself.
I hope with all the coming holidays you are able to start the traditions of gratitude and joy with your new baby. And sleep, or a steady supply of pumpkin lattes.
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